This is Turning into a Very Long Indian Vacation

Write, write, write, all day long.   And there is more to write about India.  I left off after my slum tour of Dharavi but there were still several days left remaining in my trip that definitely warrant some blog space.  Wednesday and Thursday were meant to be the "vacation" after the wedding, mainly for Dhara, but for myself and her best friend Archu as well.  We were booked in a 5 star hotel, out in the "suburbs" of Mumbai.

It's no surprise that when I think of the suburbs, I picture large homes, green lawns, golf courses, boats and beaches.  From my previous blogs, I'm guessing you can tell that the suburbs of Mumbai are not like those in the US or at least F.C.C.  The suburbs are essentially an extension of the city, however as we did make it further from city center, there was definitely less population density, and there was more greenery then anticipate; we even went through a road toll, consisting of trees as the toll dividers, and i'm sure they weren't government officials collecting toll money (oh it makes me smile in amusement).     Sadly despite being in a less central location the trash disposal was still in lawns/fields, woods, and roads; no better then in the city.  (see field above)

Regardless of trash, we were very excited to be heading to the Imperial Palace 5 star hotel.  This would be the site of yet another unbelievable Indian experience.

The hotel looked amazing upon arrival, beautiful Italian statues at the entrance, and a facade that only Hollywood would appreciate.  It actually looks liked a palace on a hill...unfortunately it was all a facade.

Oh lord, the gaudiness is almost undescribable.  This was evident as soon as we enter the lobby.  The hotel appeared amazing upon arrival, statues, gold leafed  and tray ceilings with Vatican"esk" murals plastered on the ceiling. 

While we waited for our 2nd room to be readied, we did enjoy a delicious lunch, however apparently the hotel was completely out of alcohol.  When we were given our room we were told we'd have lake view, ha, but the view was literally a stone wall.  The room was literallt soiled from the last guests despite arriving late mid afternoon, so we promptly requested a new clean room with a "better view."  The pool had broken glass scattered around, and all of the chairs had wholes broken through them, and when I asked for a lawn chair there said they didn't have any...no lawn chairs by a pool.  It was only after calling the head manager where they able to find a lawn chair that I promptly broke when sitting on.  Oh well, my relaxing by the pool was cut short but the flyes hover in all direction.

So its quite obvious the hotel absolutely sucked.  In fact they tried to charge us an obscene amount of money for them to hire a cab to take us to dinner.  As a result, they offered us a ride to the local market, where fortunately Dhara and Archu managed to barter our way onto a public bus.  Indian public transportation...quite an experience.

But we did have an amazing dinner in town.  We went to a delicious Asian restaurant that had amazing drinks. haha

We needed this drink after being told at lunch our hotel was "out of alcohol". Yeah a 5 star hotel with no drink!! WTF doesn't describe the feelings.

 The ride home from town however made the evening unbelieveably more entertaining.  We took a ricsah back and we were pleasantly surprised to find that our ride home managed to make it up the long up hill slope to our hotel.  All I could think during our ride home, was " I think I can, I think I can."  lol.

And now our hotel...it really reminded me of the Shining.  I was just glad that I didn't see two girls at the end of the hall looking at me or I might have truly freaked out.

 Holes in the ceiling... classy 5 star abode.

 The winning moment was when I saw...not a dead, but a dying cockroach in our hall.  That's right it was twitching, definitely not dead... AWESOME! 

 I think it was between the dead cockroach and the horrible breakfast service that lead to us DEMANDING we be reimbursed and send to an actual 5 star hotel.  

A brief reenactment of our breakfast....We place our orders... I order an omlet with mushrooms and tomatoes and cheese.   40 mins later I get my order, but it might as well have been frozen.  So I ask for them to bring it back heated, which really only entail putting in the microwave...but instead they bring me back an omelet with onions and mushrooms.  Where I promptly asked, why are there onions??!!.  And the response was "well we ran out of cheese so we used onions instead."  HAHA This was my breaking point.  Where I promptly DEMANDED for the manager and my friends were in the exact same position as me.

No Cheese, lets use onions, awesome decision! Oh man.... I was so unbelievably happy that we were relocated to the Orchid hotel in the city central because I can't honestly ever imagine any hotel/human making the decision that cheese make look or taste like onions and be used as a substitution for on another.  I'm still laughing about it! SERIOUSLY.  Oh boy

It was aweomse that were scanned upon leaving as well.  HA

My tourist travels to continue