A realxing Vacation in India?

With the wedding festivities over I had 5 whole days ahead of me to take in the sights (and sounds of India) and one would have hoped that with the wedding behind us that was in store, but alas I found myself constantly on the go making the remainder of my trip one which I will never forget, with experiences that rival no other.  While I hoped to sleep in on Monday I was once again awoken by the crowing of a rooster and the sounds of cars honking.  It would have been nice to sleep in but getting the day started early had its advantages.  Dhara and I managed to get to travel around the city a bit and finally try some Indian food that wasn't home made.  Rightfully so, Dhara did not want me trying any outside food until after the wedding because there was no guarantee how my stomach would handle such food.

Well I'm happy to say that my stomach faired just well and I was able to eat some absolutely amazing food right off the bat.  Dhara and Vidhi were dying for me to try what is known as a frankie, essentially a wrap with your choice of meat or vegetable.   I got a mutton (goat) and chicken tikka frankie and they were absolutely amazing!  Spicy of course, but delicious.  Above and to the left is the destination where we got our frankies (pictured below).  Oh and did I mention we also tried Paneer, the freshest of fresh "cottage cheese" with a salt like flavoring   topping.  I use quotes around cottage cheese because it's not the consistency American's would associate with the cheese, it is actually just like a cheddar cheese cube (except exceptionally better tasting).

The food stop was a preemptive energizer for my first official sightseeing tour of Mumbai, the Slum tour and a quick personal tour by Dhara to show me the largest Catholic church in Mumbai which was close to the Slum tour meeting place.  While I am not a religious person, I am one who appreciates the history surrounding such religious institutions and was interested to see a Christian facility in a Hindu (and one might also say Muslim) dominated society.
St. Michael's was not like an old church you would see in Europe with grand stain glass window's and elaborate pews, but it quite impressive and unique seeing a simple Cross ordaning the outside of a quite prominent building in India.

The church was large but not lavish, it was interesting seeing the eclectic people who were congregated there on a Monday early afternoon.  Dhara was explaining to me about the masses of people who attend services here and I found it truely astonishing that Christianity does have quite a prominence in India.  When one looks at the religious percentage dispersed throughout the country it would seem quite small, but for a country whose population is in the billions and whose largest city, Mumbai, contains ~27mm (most likely greater if you consider the "suburbs"), a small % is still a large number or people.  The visit broke my previous belief of Christianity being non-existent in India, and it actually demonstrated a true sense of religious acceptance that, quite honestly, I don't think you'd find in many other places of the world.

After my visit to St. Michael's, we made our way to the central train station where my tour group was meeting.   Although it was a short walk, 5-10 mins it was hard not to take in the poverty surrounding me, and the...dirtiness as well.

Whether one would consider India a third world country is an objective discussion that I can't opine on, but I have traveled and spend a good amount of time in Peru which is definitely a third world country.  The purposes of my travels in Peru were to study and observe eco-tourism within the country, knowing the lack of infrastructure results in the inability to dispose of waste.  I will not disguise my disgust for amount of trash plaguing the streets of Mumbai, but I was even more shocked when after eating my food from earlier and having the garbage in hand, when asked where the nearest garbage can was, I was told by both a local and a westerner that "there are not (public) trash cans in India, just throw it in the street."  Having part of my educational degree earned through studies and practices of avoiding the continuance of ecological pollution (aka littering on the streets), I was compelled to put the trash in my purse and wait until I found I trash can regardless if this proved to be a fruitless attempt.  The garbage sat in my purse until I returned back to the hotel to dispose of it, but it is painfully disheartening to know that even though I, one non-constant, in a population of a billion constant, who tired to contribute to the reduction of street trash, will not show even the slightest blip in trying to reduce street waste because even the garbage disposed of "properly" is transported to a giant landfill on the outskirts of the largest slum in India...and Asia (in the absolute middle of the city), which is also home to the river tributary that feeds the waste into the Arabian Sea.
There is only so much one person can do which is why I implore anyone who travel to India to do so with an Eco-Friendly attitude, and look to take tours/trips that will help benefit the environment in anyway possible (NGO/Eco-Friendly), because just being one less person contributing to the damaging footprint being cast upon India waste management can and will make impact regardless of size.

While garbage is a common theme in Mumbai, so is poverty.  On the short walk to the train station from the church we visited, Dhara and I were bombarded by young children approaching us asking for ANYTHING and doing anything to get our attention.  Dhara had prepared me for this, me being white, and I was prepared, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's any less harder to witness.  The picture below is of young children playing in a traffic intersection (a pseudo playground one might describe it as).  If you look in the background you can see the staircase leading over the train tracks leading to slums.  The picture to the right is the street right next to this traffic intersection with basket makers who make these streets their home.  Nearly every street in Mumbai seems to have a large homeless population who have claimed the street sidewalks as their home.

 We were meeting the tour guide at the train station and if you look at the train in the distance you can see that the trains have no doors and the trains become so packed people just hang out of the train.  This is a normal occurrence for daily commuters, and my friend was telling me that even then slightest delay in the trains will cause the volume on the trains to reached unmanageable proportions.

 Our Meeting place.

 

Her cousin referred me to an NGO group known as Reality Tours and they provided a 2-3 hr walking tour around the slums.   We were not allowed to take pictures during this tour to avoid an invasion of privacy for the locals but the company provided us with pictures they had taken previously.

The slums in India are unlike anything you could imagine.  Having been to the slum in Lima Peru, and having read about the slums in Rio De Janeiro, the slums in India were quite different.  Generally one would associate the slums with black market activity, drug cartels and violence.  The Dhavari slums in India are quite opposite.  There is a true sense of community and there is virtually no violence or crime.  The slums actually have two distinct purposes, one being residential and one being industrial.  There is a compilation of industries within the slums that generate a recorded 500mm dollar annually (and this is most liekly understated given the lack of regulations within the slums).   The work conditions are horrible and the type of work range from melting down plastics and cleaning used metal drums, to leather manufactures, pottery makers and suit case distributors.

It is quite ironic actually that while these work enviroments are not environmentally friendly and have no standards for labor conditions, the majority of the work and goods that are produced are all centered around recycling.

The picture of the boy above is actually in the residential area of the slums.  This hall may appear narrow but trust me when I say that they can become much more narrow, with much less light, and have wires hanging down low from the ceiling.  I know this because our tour guide really did take us through the inner areas of the slums.  We were walking through even narrower passages ways and avoiding wires and holes in the ground.  The living conditions are quite appalling, the typical "house" is basically a room, maybe 5m x 5m and this space is their sleeping, living, and, dining quarters, with the average number of occupants per household being 5-6 people.  This is something hard to believe or ever imagine coming from Fairfield County.  The houses do all have electricity though, and most actually have cable; I guess there are some luxuries people still can't live without.  They have running water 3 hours a day and may choose to have it at night or in the morning.  All of the wires we were walking under and pipes were stepping over is what brings their supply of the modern amenities we take for granted.  It would be very easy for pipes to crack and wires to fall, as there is little to no government maintenance in the slums.  The only real government involvement in the slums is ensuring that people are paying for their electricity and water (yes they still have to pay utility bills).

Dhavari is Asia's largest slum and in the absolute middle of Mumbai.  The poverty is unimaginable and the living conditions dirty and disgusting, yet the majority of the people living there choose to do so on their own accord.  The government has proposed on several occations demolishing the slums and building high rises for the people living there, but when it comes to the vote, the citizens choose to remain living in the slums for reasons only they will know.

My First Indian Wedding

I've been to many weddings back in the states, but it is safe to say that an Indian wedding is unlike anything I've ever experienced.  As you read in my prior posts, there are many different traditions that ensue before the actual wedding day and I was only apart of a few of them.  Weeks before the wedding there are cocktail parties and other receptions to celebrate the upcoming nuptials, and having arrived just days before the wedding it was exciting to see everything culminate to the big day.  Sunday, the day of the wedding started out like a normal day for any bride to be with everyone frantically making sure everything was ready for the departure.

Vidhi had to leave the house before 12:30 because based on Indian traditions there are "auspicious" times that need to be observed in order to ensure the success of the marriage.  From 11-12:20, everyone was running making it quite a frantic morning.  There were tears and prayers
and camera crews filling the family apartment and my job was to try and keep Vidhi and Dhara as calm as possible with all of the madness surrounding them, not an easy task.  By the time her departure arrived, she was whisked away in a car beautifully decorated with flowers, at which time I then was able to begin getting ready for the days event.  


After straightening my hair and applying my make up, and once again over eating way to much delicious Punjab food, I was able to rest for a an hour or so until it was time for me to be dressed in my hot pink Sari.  It was my first time wearing a sari and it was definitely a different experience.  To be honest, I was very uncomfortable.  Sari's are draped and tucked into places that made me feel like at any moment it could come loose and leave me exposed.  Fortunately Dhara's aunt made sure to use a large number of safety pins to give some slight assurance that the Sari would remain intact throughout the evening.

We left for the banquet hall around 2 arriving at about 2:30 and there was drama from the minute I arrived.   The banquet hall was beautifully decorated but all that got lost in almost the immediate drama going one when we arrived, the drama being the makeup artist and hair stylist had still not arrived!!  She was over and hour and half late and the clock was ticking closer and closer to the start of the ceremony.  It wasn't until 3:30 when they arrived leaving all the women of the family in a frantic rush to get Vidhi ready in time.

Before the ceremony actually begins (with the groom that is) there is a pre-ceremony that must be performed at an "auspicious" time which, shall I say was almost missed because of the late start of the make up artist.  We actually had to rush her out unfinished in order to uphold the tradition.

I'm not sure exactly what this pre-ceremony actually entails but the family all gathers around in the hall and there was some type of burning/fire ceremony that made the hall quite smoky actually.  I did make an effort to learn what the meaning of all these different ceremonies were but everyone was very preoccupied trying to get back on schedule that there wasn't much time for anyone to explain them to me, so I found myself just going with the flow most of the afternoon.  It also didn't help that the everything was performed in Hindi, so even if I had an idea of what was going on I wouldn't have been able to understand a word that was said.

After this part of the ceremony the fun really began, with the arrival of the groom.  Unlike anything I've seen before, the groom along with all of his friends and family come down the street with a band announcing the long anticipated arrival of the groom.  There is dancing in the street and the money being waved at all of the band members to encourage them to play the music louder and louder.  Everyone from the brides side of the family then congregates at the entry of the banquet hall and wait expectantly for the groom to make his debut.

 It took about 40 minutes for the parade of friends and family to make it the 200 yards to the actual entrance hall.  Part of me believes that it took so long because Jai (the groom) was trying to buy more time for Vidhi and Dhara to finish getting ready.

There were several times I was pulled into the dancing extravaganza.  I wish I had a cocktail or two to enhance my dancing, but I was so nervous about my Sari falling off that my dancing was subpar at best. :-)

 Once inside, Vidhi had to jump and struggle to place a wreath of flowers around Jai's neck, while his friends made it nearly impossible as they kept hoisting him higher and moving him around from side to side.  It was a miracle that he didn't fall down either.  This was when the actual ceremony began and it was the most unique ceremony I've ever experienced.

The ceremony starts immediately after the groom is returned to the floor.  He proceeded to the "altar" for lack of a better word while friends and family hurry in to get their seats.  Vidhi, myself, and 3 others shuffled quickly back to the brides changing room for mere moments where we prepared for the entrance of the bride.  Being a bridesmaid it was my responsibility to hold a cloth of some sort over the bride.  Unfortunately I do not know the name of this, but it is quite an important aspect of the bride's entrance.

As the bride enters the wedding hall, a cloth is held in front of the groom so that he cannot see her. During the bride's entry auspicious music is played (usually nada-svaram).  After cloth is dropped and the groom can see the bride the ceremony begins and I promptly became lost in everything that was going on. 

Unlike American weddings where the guests all sit and watch the ceremony, the guests at the wedding are up moving around barely even paying attention to what is going on during the ceremony.  Most people are actually battling over the food being served in the back of the hall.  The ceremony can take hours which is why, I'm assuming, people were paying little if no attention to the bride and groom center stage.  There are 7 stages to the wedding, but apparently this wedding was only performed with 4 stages.  Below will be a link to a Hindu wedding site for those interested to learning more about the ceremony.  Given that it was all in Hindu I didn't have a clue what was going on during the entirety of the ceremony.

 It was about half way through the ceremony where I found the friends of the groom (standing on stage in the picture directly above) and I was so thankful for that.  They were the smart ones who had, what I refer to as the Car Bar, a fully stock car with all necessary types of beverages (:-), outside of the wedding hall.  There was no alcohol at the reception (unbeknowst to me) so I came as quite a relief that while there was no drinking inside the wedding there was some outside of it.  The girls I met were great and made me feel right at home.  They even got me up on stage during part of the ceremony, throwing flowers at the bride and groom and they even pulled me into a dance routine that served as an introduction for the newly weds at the reception.

 The receptions started about 40 minutes after the ceremony was over and consisted of food, food and more food, and some occassional mingling.  I was the only white person at the wedding and didn't know anyone except the members of the family and they were busy to say the least.  The reception for the family consists of receiving the guests and taking picture after picture after picture with everyone invited to the wedding.  Hopefully Dhara will be sending some of the professional pictures taken during the evening but below are some I managed to snap when I was able to briefly steal Dhara away from the family.

Sisterly love (Vidhi and Dhara pictured below)!  The family wasn't able to eat and enjoy the food until around 11/midnight once the majority of the guest had left.  It was there they were able to enjoy the amazing food and share in another traditional Indian tradition by feeding one another small portions of what ever they were being served.

Vidhi and Jai Below and their beautiful wedding cake

 An example of the Bride and Groom feeding one another a taste of the treats

 It isn't just family that feeds one another but friends make sure they are part of the action and feed both the bride and groom.  I even par-took in this tradition.

It was a long day and even a longer night.  Indian weddings are like a marathon day and I don't know how the family managed to survive.  There were some 700+ people there and they had to say hi to all of them.  It was definitely an experience I will never forget, and when/if I ever get married I will be relieved knowing that there won't be half as many people and the ceremony will be much less complex and intricate.

Below are some links with more information about the traditional customs that occur during a Hindu wedding ceremony.

http://www.weddingdetails.com/lore/hindu.cfm

http://www.mypurohith.com/Matrimonials/Hindu_Marriage.asp

Mumbai India, Jan/Feb 2012

When I first decided travel to India to meet my friends Dhara for her sisters wedding, I had no idea what to expect and what I was in for.  India is like no other country i've been too, and I would say that I have been lucky enough to travel to quite a few places.  I stayed at the Kemps Corner hotel, a hop skip and jump away from Dhara's apartment.

Each morning I was woken by a rooster and the drone of cars incessantly honking.  To call it a relaxing vacation would be far from the truth.  I was on the go from the moment I touched down in India, and could tell right away that India was going to be quite an experience.

We quickly checked into the hotel, small room but it was quite perfect for what it was needed for, although the bed was frightfully uncormfortable.  It was like sleeping a piece of wood with a slight pillow top covering it.  I did not sleep well most nights due to the traffic noises and the uncomfortable bed, but fortunately I wasn't in the hotel room that long during the days.  Below is the roof top patio where our complimentary breakfast was served.  It doesn't look like much but the breakfast was quite good and the view actually quite nice.  It felt like the only place where you could actually see greenery.

But Don't be fooled by the greenery, the honking still persisted right below the canopy, ruining any type of possible tranquility.

I found India to be quite polluted, from the moment I stepped off the plane there was a haze of smog that covered the city.  To get into the city from the airport in the "suburbs", you cross what is called the ceiling of India over the arabian Sea.  The bridge would be beautiful and so would the city-scape, if you could only see it clearly through all of the smog.  It was quite a first impression of India.

But more to come about the actual country later, the first part of my trip was pure wedding mayhem.  On Friday after setting my stuff in the hotel, Dhara and I went straight to go get our nails done.  This definitely helped me relax after the inital shock of India.  After nails, I went to Dhara apartment for the mehendi tradition, also known as the henna ceremony.  It's traditional in Indian weddings for the bride to have her full arms and her feet painted in Henna.  Friends and family will generally have only their hands palms and their hands done.

The Henna starts out quite dark and is thick, and you aren't suppose to move your hands for at least 2 hours until the henna dries/sets in, it was not easy not moving my hands for that long.  

My hands should have turned out like Dhara's below, however due to a miscommunication, opps, I washed the henna off my hands when I should have just just removed the henna by scraping my hands.  so my hands turned out much lighter then they should have been.  Did you realize that the henna actually tingles/burns when it is drying on your skin.

And this was my henna outcome!  And i'm still trying to wash off the remaining remnants of the henna, it lasts much longer then you'd think.

The next day was filled with more wedding prepartions and lots of amazing food.  Her family made sure I enjoyed all of their home cooking, and trust me I did, but they wouldn't believe me when I told them I was full, they just keep filling my plate (and truth be told it was so good I ate it until almost commatose).  I did have some of the most amazing food I'd ever had though.  I just needed to eat more in moderation.

Saturday night is what they call the Sangeet, which is known as the music festival.  Both the friends of the bride and the friends of the groom perform choreographed dances, something I've never witnessed before.  It was quite a good time.  Getting there on the other hand was quite an interesting experience.  Driving in Bombay is absolutely terrifying and I thought we were going to die several times during the trip to the Grapevine (where there was a roof top reception was, with delicious food and drinks of course).  On the ride over we almost got into several car accidents, one incident in particular stands out.  While driving on the crazily on the congested roads a car nearly backed into our cab.  Dhara promptly found me sitting nearly on top of her in the small cab, did I mention that Pranav was sitting in back as well.   They were quite enjoying my total fear of driving in this city.    I promptly needed a glass of wine when we got to the venue.   I guess it's also important to note that cars/cabs in India do not have side or rear view windows, so they use their horns to let any driver, biker or pedistrian they are coming up on behind to pass you.  Need I say more.  But driving aside the night's festivities were so much more interesting.

Vidhi was looking gorgeous as usual, and I was able to finally meet Dhara's finance (even though that was by nearly jumping on him and Dhara in the cab).  The event is usually just for family and close friends but fortunately being a guest from far away I was able to manage an invite.

 During most of the evening I was chatting with several members of Dhara's family, and they made sure that I tried every time of Indian food imaginable.  I must say I did enjoy the food more then I ever would have thought.  All of it was absolutely amazing, and it was all vegetarian, but you really couldn't tell.  I really do love spicy food, but it turns out too much can be bad for your immune system but that we'll address later. :-)

I spent a great deal of time by myself most of the night but after the dancing I finally joined the bride to be and her future husband and friends who did nothing but try to make me feel welcome.  Below are some pictures right before the performances began.  It was actually a lot of fun watching them on stage.

  

Most of the actual pictures I have are movies.  Hopefully the movie links work  but knowing my luck with technology they won't.  I couldn't even believe that the guys all got up there and danced.  They all had so much fun, I wish I could have been more apart of the action.  The guys dancing was absolutely hysterical.  I have to give them props because I don't think any American guy would ever do anything of the sort.

  

  Enjoy the Video's and more wedding details to come in the next post.